MS. GIGGLES

Hold it, folks, Deidre Knight may be more well-known for her paranormal romances, but Butterfly Tattoo is a down-to-earth contemporary romance with not one spaceship in sight. That's not to say that you shouldn't read this story, however. If you do, you may discover a different side to this author's writing style, because this one is a tearjerker with a touch of romantic suspense.

Once upon a time, Rebecca O'Neill was an actress. A near-death encounter with an armed stalker changed all that. Scarred from the incident both physically and mentally, she now pops pills (obtained legally, of course) and works behind the scenes as a development executive for a production house. It is during a power blackout that she meets Michael Warner, an electrician whose easy flirtation causes her heart to beat a little faster than usual. Well, Michael has his issues too. After losing his long-time partner (yes, Michael's late lover was a guy) to a drunk driver, he is trying to get his act together for his daughter, but it isn't easy. When Andie, the daughter, ends up bonding with Rebecca, complications occur because of not only their emotional issues but also Rebecca's insecurities with regard to the degree of Michael's affections for her. After all, he was in a gay relationship with a guy for over a decade, so you can't blame a woman for wondering how they are going to make this relationship work, no?

Butterfly Tattoo alternates between first person narration from Rebecca and Michael, and this is where I encounter my biggest problem with this story. I can't tell apart the "voices" of the two characters, so the switch from chapter one to chapter two has me momentarily disoriented. While I have no problems with first person point of view in general, this is one story where I wish that the author had settled for an omnipresent third person point of view. Even when I realize what is happening, I still get momentarily disoriented now and then because I am so absorbed in following one character's point of view, sometimes I don't even notice that I have jumped to a new chapter until a few seconds later when I go, "Hey, wait a minute, this sentence seems odd..."

I'm afraid I can't tell you how authentic Michael is as a bisexual character if we are to compare him to a bisexual in real life, but I can tell you that this story reels me in once I get over the initial disorientation caused by the point of view changes and doesn't let go even once. I would have never guessed from reading Ms Knight's light-hearted paranormal romances that she is capable of portraying such raw and anguished angst on a page without going too blatantly sentimental or manipulative. Andie, that kid, could have been a creepy manipulative plot device in another story by a different author, but here she comes off as a pretty realistic character. As for Rebecca and Michael, well, they are brimming with angst and all kinds of grief, but their relationship is a heartbreakingly tender and beautiful one here.

Butterfly Tattoo is a great tearjerker of a love story, but for me, it is also a revelation, since I've in the past always found this author's paranormal romances to have a degree of simplicity in their portrayal of emotions that is tad too Carebear-like for me. Here, however, she demonstrates that she can pull out all stops and portray heartbreak and healing of broken souls in ways that have me feeling simultaneously drained and exhilarated at the same time.

Were not for the too-similar "voice" in the first person narrations, this one would have easily been a keeper for me.

Rating: 86

- Ms. Giggles

BABBLING ABOUT BOOKS, AND MORE

When Sarah at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books told me about Butterfly Tattoo, I had some reservations. I have read books before where the hero started out straight but then meets the man of his dreams and welcomes the new gay lifestyle with open arms, but not the other way around. From the synopsis I thought this was a simple love story of a man falling love with a woman after years of being gay. Butterfly Tattoo is so much more than a person’s sexual preference and whom they decide to fall in love with.

Deidre Knight has broken boundaries and has shown perfectly why falling in love is something so powerful and it doesn’t matter who that person may be. Michael, the hero of this tale explains perfectly his love for his dead lover who was so cruelly taken away from him. Michael doesn’t think of himself as gay or straight. If he has to put a label on his sexual preference, it would be bisexual. His love for Alex, his husband and partner was a perfect love and something only most of us could dream of. The newfound love he has for former actress, Rebecca O’Neill is something very different from what he had with Alex. Rebecca is confused with Michael because she just can’t believe that Michael, after years of being with a man would turn his back on the lifestyle he had with Alex to be with her. If I were in Rebecca’s shoes I would have the same reservations. These questions and doubts are the two important things that both Michael and Rebecca must come to terms with.

Michael Warner is an electrician who works at a Hollywood studio. He is a widower with a eight-year-old daughter. Michael’s husband and partner Alex, was a doctor who died in a car accident a year ago. Their daughter Andrea was in the car with Alex and survived. Andrea is a bright but sullen little girl who misses her daddy. Andrea no longer calls Michael “daddy”, but by his first name and that tears him apart inside. He can’t seem to reach Andrea even though he tries everything he can. Michael and Andrea’s healing progress is a very slow one. Michael feels he has lost his daughter’s love the day she was in that accident. He is alone and scared.

Rebecca O’Neil was a former popular television sitcom actress whose life was taken away from her the moment a stalker fan stabbed her multiple times and left her for dead. Her scars are both visible and hidden. One side of her face has scars from the knife that also includes the ones over her torso, body and the ones on the palm of one of her hands. This is not counting the health problems and emotional and mental ones Rebecca must deal with on a daily basis. She is still involved in the industry and works in the development office reading scripts and finding the next big movie blockbuster. Rebecca is enclosed in her small protective bubble surrounded by supportive friends and work associates. I can’t help but compare Rebecca to that of a caterpillar in a cocoon who is ready to break out and become the butterfly she longs to be. Those around her such as her good friend Trevor wants her to start living life again. She is so young and even with the trauma of her past and the loss of her innocence at the hands of deranged fan, she still has so much to look forward to. And it looks like a higher being may be watching Rebecca because she is sent Michael.

Rebecca finds Michael to be very attractive. She doesn’t find him threatening because as he is fixing a fuse in her office, his daughter Andrea is there. Andre and Rebecca hit it off pretty well. Andrea finds a bosom buddy in Rebecca because of her own scars. Andrea has some scarring from the accident and because Rebecca has them also, she thinks Rebecca will understand because Michael can’t. Because Rebecca starts a tender relationship with Andrea, Michael and Rebecca form one. Both may find one another attractive but neither is in the right frame of mind to be anything more than friends. Rebecca sees the ring on Michael’s finger and comes to the conclusion he is married and even when she finds out he is a widower, she again assumes he lost his wife. Rebecca is in for a shock when Michael invites her over for dinner and sees the pictures of his family. Michael admits he is still getting over Alex’s death and Rebecca decides she will become his friend and help him deal with Andrea’s moods.

These two unlikely people embark on a new journey together. Michael finds something special in Rebecca, much like he had with Alex. Rebecca and he click so well and Michael really wants to move on and be with Rebecca in a way a man wants to be when they are attracted to a woman. But this is not easy. First of all Alex is all around Michael and the thought of forgetting Alex and moving on to someone else to love is selfish in Michael’s eyes. How can he move on when what he and Alex had was so special? How will his friends and family react when he tells them that the one he now wants to be with is a woman? Rebecca loves being with Michael and she is happy to be dating even if it is with a man who is also attracted to men. Rebecca has some major issues to work through herself. She wonders if Michael is only with her because he is lonely and needs someone to warm his bed at night. And how can a man who was once intimate with another man want to be that way with a woman? These questions raised makes things even more confusing and upsetting. Michael is at a loss because he doesn’t know how to handle them.

Life is full of complications and Deidre Knight shows this so well in Butterfly Tattoo. The title is about those tattoos a person has whether it is a literal one much like the butterfly tattoo Michael has on his back that longs to be kissed by a set of lips or the scars that both Rebecca and Andrea have. The scars on Andre and Rebecca’s bodies can’t be erased. They are forever lasting. The memory of a loved one is a tattoo on someone’s heart and in Michael’s case, Alex is deep within his soul. He is willing to make room for Rebecca alongside his love for Alex. Rebecca has to make the decision and take a chance that Michael’s love for her is very real.

Love is such a powerful emotion. Deidre shows this with a love and parent will have for a child as well as their mate. It is the glue that holds a relationship together. It is forgiveness and want and the hope that there will be someone in this big world who will understand your longings and be there to help you navigate those ups and downs. I loved how Deidre shows the balance of what Michael had with Alex and what he now has with Rebecca. Michael needs a connection with someone. Even as he is on that surfboard alone in the ocean, which seems to be a very solitary exercise, he longs for those he cares about to be beside him catching that perfect wave.

There is one line that is so perfect in it’s telling that really stuck with me. This is where Michael admits to Rebecca that he wants to make love to her so desperately and it all comes down to this:

“…instead of fighting everything so much, you could just open your heart and see where it leads you.”

Poignant and heartbreaking, Butterfly Tattoo is all about opening your heart and loving that person who just clicks with you.

- Katiebabs, Babbling About Books, and More